I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize