i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
