btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
