Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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