thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
