the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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