Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
