She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
being pregnant is like rehab
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
