My hand turned me down
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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