"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
