your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
