Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
