at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
