dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
