That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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