I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
