Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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