idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize