every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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