hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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