arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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