Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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