There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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