Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
