To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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