Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
