Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We smell like vodka and hangover
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