So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
