Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
