girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
