If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
