Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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