You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
