dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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