i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
