I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
