just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
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Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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