when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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