We won't sleep together?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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