Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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