you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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