I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
