i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
