My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize