you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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