Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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