so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize