like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
