Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
