I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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