I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
