just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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