all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
