your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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