u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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