Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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