Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
