Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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