Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
