I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
