Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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